Today, let's speak about the truth for a second.
Being honest and knowing your own fears are essential to who we are. And who we become.
There is one piece to getting a publishing deal that no one told me about. And, it's not as light as I imagined it becoming. My fear. My expectations. Everyone's expectations. There is this weight that holds me stuck at times.
And, if I can guess right, it will hold many back as well. Not back, maybe, but it will ground you in place. So, I'm going to break down and reasonably explain how to live through the fears and how to simply enjoy how far you have came.
1) First, do what's right for you or your work.
- I understand the need to be great, to not let anyone down, to show that by doing such you can make it.
- Live by what you have. Stupid, you may think. But here, let's dig deeper; you can not and should not allow others (besides editors and those who know what they are talking about) influence you to the point to change what you are working on. If those that love you, want the best for, and believe in you, they should not be pulling you down because their reasoning is the only thing that matters.
- Your work is yours, be proud of it. No one else besides yourself knows the pain, the time, the commitment that was put into that creation. Everyone can talk and say they had a part, but you are the one that made that draft, gave it life, gave it a chance. And got it in the lands of an editor, agent, or publishing house. You did that, not anyone else...
2) Second, fear should not cloud your future.
- This is the most difficult part about reaching one step of your dream. You wanted this and now you have to live with it. Yes and no. Yes, because YOU EARNED IT. No, because what you do isn't WHO you are. People separate themselves from their work all the time. Do that. You can be a creator, but also be a human with a family, friends, and a job.
- Fear lives within us all. Even in the people that face a new fear every day. All you need to do is reason with yourself. Don't let the voice within that says, "What if they don't like this scene or don't like my book at all?" "What if's", are the killers to anything that you face. Not everyone will like your work. I mean that. There are people that only read one genre, only read certain authors, is the competition high, yes, but KNOW YOUR WORTH.
- Being an author, I've branched into a new stand still. People that I know, people that I live with, went to school with, and work with, they may read my book, and that is a fear that is new to me. I knew that people all around me will read Lethal Woman, but WHAT I WRITE IS NOT WHO I AM.
- Understand the difference between yourself and what you create. When people dislike, refuse to buy, think it's not worthy, they aren't talking about YOU. Hard to hear, yes, but what you write, create, or build, it's not meant for everyone. People have their own style and that needs to be honored.
3) Be proud of who you are and of your journey.
- I don't hear this enough, ever. You went from step zero to step one. Don't give up, ever. No matter what you face. Some things take time. And unfortunately, some publishers, they can't afford to keep you on. Again, it's not meant to be personal. They need a profit. You need a profit. All the work and money, it needs to come back around. That is one of the scariest parts of being a writer. Traditionally or self published, it is a weight that keeps you awake at night. Honestly, I have nothing to offer to help ease that. Every morning, I wake up, fearing that I'll be dropped. My dream, my creation, everything... just gone.
- Being new, you are an outsider in a world of knowns. Keep working, keep fighting. It is sooo hard to work those hours, but giving up when you are so close, it'll be worse. Trust me.
4) Parting words... from me to you.
- Find one good reason to keep going. Cling to that, and don't stop moving. If you made it to step one, go all the way.
- If you need help, guidance, or words of advice from newbie to newbie, or need some words to keep you going, come back here, to this blog. I will no doubt make this place a session for me to offer my fear on a platter for others to devour, and know that they are not alone. Being vulnerable, in any sense, it isn't always pretty, but makes us human.
I'll speak to you all soon. Keep workin' and keep on fightin', because you still have a great road before you. You've just gotta stay on the road that makes you, the best you possible.
~Carrie
